i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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