Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize