What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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