the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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