nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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