rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
