just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
