jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
