AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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