Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
