Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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