Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
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