we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
