Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
