You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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