i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
