I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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