Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize