I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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