Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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