Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
