At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Say something about gay babies.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize
