I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
