And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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