i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
