I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
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