Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Girls should come with a carfax report
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
