Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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