He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
