Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
