it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
be right there i have to get my cape
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
