I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Randomize
