Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize