do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
