Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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