Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I think I sprained my soul last night
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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