I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
