i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
