this beer tastes like vomit already
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
