So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
