How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
3pm strippers are depressing
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
