Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
