so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
