I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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