I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
