Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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