u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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