During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's great music for shaving your balls
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize