You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
