I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
