I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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