evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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