I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
