You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
