I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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