so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
