i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Can I color on your dick again?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
