Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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